| Renungan hari ini dari bacaan 1Raja-raja 3:4-13; Markus 6:30-34. “Berikanlah kepada hamba-Mu ini hati yang penuh pengertian untuk menjadi hakim atas umatmu dan dapat membedakan antara yang baik dan yang jahat” (1Raj. 3:9). |
Dalam perjuangan hidup sehari-hari, kita semua ingin hidup benar di hadapan Tuhan. Kita ingin bersikap adil, jujur, dan setia pada kehendak-Nya. Namun kenyataannya, jalan itu tidak selalu mudah. Sering kali justru kelemahan diri sendirilah yang menjadi penghalang terbesar. Salah satu kelemahan yang paling sering muncul adalah kurangnya kerendahan hati, yang lalu tampak dalam emosi, kemarahan, dan sikap mudah tersinggung.
Saya sendiri mengalami hal itu. Dalam relasi dengan orang-orang di sekitar saya, terutama dengan mereka yang bekerja bersama saya, ada saat-saat ketika perkataan atau sikap orang lain begitu mudah melukai perasaan. Padahal, sebagai orang beriman, saya tahu bahwa Tuhan memanggil saya untuk bersikap sabar, lembut, dan penuh belas kasih. Dari pengalaman inilah saya semakin menyadari bahwa hidup benar di hadapan Tuhan bukanlah sesuatu yang langsung jadi, melainkan sebuah proses panjang yang harus terus diperjuangkan.
Dalam pergumulan ini, saya sering merasa diri saya seperti Salomo. Ketika Tuhan menampakkan diri kepadanya dan berkata, “Mintalah apa yang perlu Kuberikan kepadamu” (1Raj. 3:5). Salomo tidak meminta kekayaan atau kekuasaan. Ia justru memohon, “Berikanlah kepada hamba-Mu ini hati yang penuh pengertian” (1Raj. 3:9). Doa ini terasa sangat dekat dengan pergumulan hidup saya sendiri. Saya pun sadar bahwa tanpa hikmat dari Tuhan, saya mudah jatuh ke dalam emosi dan keakuan diri.
Saya bersyukur karena Tuhan memberkati perjuangan saya dalam pekerjaan. Tuhan mempercayakan usaha dan para karyawan yang bekerja bersama saya. Sejak awal, saya memegang visi untuk bekerja dalam kebenaran hidup demi mencapai damai sejahtera. Saya berusaha berlaku jujur dan adil, memperhatikan kesejahteraan karyawan sesuai kemampuan yang ada, serta membantu mereka untuk terus berkembang. Namun saya juga harus jujur mengakui bahwa niat baik saja tidak selalu cukup. Ada saat-saat ketika saya gagal mengendalikan diri, terbawa emosi, dan akhirnya menyesal.
Pengalaman ini membuat saya semakin sadar betapa sulitnya memiliki hati yang sungguh berbelas kasih. Di titik inilah saya kembali memandang kepada Yesus. Injil Markus menceritakan bahwa ketika Yesus melihat orang banyak, hati-Nya tergerak oleh belas kasihan, karena mereka seperti domba yang tidak mempunyai gembala. Belas kasih Yesus bukan sekadar rasa iba sesaat, melainkan perhatian yang mendalam dan kesediaan untuk hadir, mengajar, dan menyertai.
Dalam karya belas kasih-Nya, Yesus mengalami penolakan, penghinaan, pengkhianatan, bahkan ditinggalkan oleh murid-murid-Nya. Ia menanggung penderitaan dan wafat di kayu salib, padahal Ia tidak bersalah. Namun, semua itu dijalani-Nya dengan setia, karena Ia taat kepada kehendak Bapa dan ingin menyelamatkan manusia. Bahkan di tengah penderitaan-Nya, Yesus tetap membagikan kasih dan pengampunan.
Ketika merenungkan kesetiaan dan belas kasih Yesus, saya kembali dikuatkan oleh janji Tuhan kepada Salomo: bahwa Tuhan bukan hanya memberikan apa yang diminta, tetapi juga apa yang tidak diminta. Karena itu, setiap hari saya terus memohon hikmat dan kebijaksanaan dari Tuhan. Saya berharap agar belas kasih semakin bertumbuh dalam hati saya, lebih kuat daripada emosi dan keakuan diri, sehingga hidup saya makin dikuasai oleh pengendalian diri.
Saya menyadari bahwa proses ini belum selesai. Seperti yang dikatakan Rasul Paulus, sekarang kita masih melihat seperti dalam cermin yang samar-samar, dan pengenalan kita pun belum sempurna. Namun ketidaksempurnaan ini tidak membuat saya putus asa. Justru di sinilah saya diajak untuk terus berharap, terus belajar, dan terus melangkah bersama Tuhan.
Kiranya firman Tuhan yang kita simpan dalam hati menuntun langkah hidup kita setiap hari, membentuk hati yang bijaksana, setia, dan penuh belas kasih, seperti hati Yesus sendiri.
Penulis
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